‘An obligation’: Domestic abuse survivors share their stories as warning to others – The Town Talk

The Story of Latoya Wright, Domestic Abuse Survivor

Editor’s note: This story contains recollections of domestic violence, which some readers may find disturbing.

Introduction

After her daughter’s murder almost four years ago, Temekia Turner channeled her grief into educating people about the signs of domestic violence.

She’s continuing that mission, including hosting an Oct. 12 seminar, but now she’s ready to see it grow. At the end of the event, she announced wants to begin an effort to teach girls as young as 6 and young women how to love themselves as protection against violence later in their lives.

Teaching Self-Respect and Self-Love

“Because first, before domestic violence, you’ve got to learn self-respect and self-love,” said Turner.

If young girls and women learn that, she said it would be easier for them to recognize and act if they see signs of domestic violence in their relationships.

Turner has said in the past that she didn’t know the tell-tale signs of domestic violence and that her daughter, Ashley Mortle, never said anything was wrong in her relationship, even when she asked about it.

Survivors Share Their Stories

Two survivors of domestic violence spoke at the Pineville event, one of them being another of Turner’s daughters. Two speakers also talked about the threat of gun violence.

Allison Freel took a moment to compose herself before telling the crowd about losing two of her sons to gun violence. The first, 17-year-old Xavier Taylor, was killed in 2008.

“He didn’t get to graduate, get married, have babies, nothing,” she said. “It was devastating to me. To this day, it’s still devastating.”

She said God carried her through, and she met a lot of people who helped her through it. Then, in 2021, she lost the second, 27-year-old Dereck Taylor Jr., just three days after Turner lost her daughter.

“I’m still grieving,” said Freel. “It’s kinda hard for me every day to wake up and not have both of them here.”

She warned parents and youth not to think something like this couldn’t happen to them. She said she never thought she’d bury two of her children, despite trying to intervene before Dereck’s murder.

Again, Freel turned to her faith, saying “God makes no mistakes. Let me not say I’m complaining.

“I was blessed to have those boys for the time that I had them. They’re gifts, they’re loans, they’re not ours, at all.”

Xaveon Liggins, Turner’s son, said he knows the fear of gun violence. A student, Liggins said he’s talked about the statistics of young Black men being killed after a teacher asked him about his school work.

“I know I should be worried about my education, but sometimes I fear for my life,” he said.

He said his mother has told him he has a second chance to do something in life when his sister doesn’t. He said he was going to use it to talk about gun violence and “encourage other young people, put the guns down.”

Turner told the crowd they probably wondered why gun violence was being addressed at the event. But she said it’s because it’s all violence, and it seems there’s news about killing every day.

Harrowing Tales of Survival

Rhonda Perkins and Latoya Wright told graphic stories of what their husbands had done to them, and how they both survived.

Perkins got married in 1998, and the couple had two daughters. But the abuse started when her husband pushed her while she was six months pregnant, she said.

It progressed to slaps and verbal abuse. Her husband would talk about her dead father and brother, “just a sick person,” she said. Perkins recalled how her husband would spit in her hair after she got ready to go to work as a nurse, hoping to keep her home.

“The last punch was when he busted my head open in front of my youngest daughter. She was 12,” she said. “I could see my skull.”

Perkins said she was bleeding profusely and had to beg her husband to let her call 911, telling him she would lie about how she was hurt. She needed 14 staples to close the wound.

“That was finally the last straw,” she said.

They had been together for 14 years, which she called hell. People always asked her why she stayed, and she always answered because she was afraid. She didn’t love him, she said, but she was terrified he’d make good on his promises to never let her see her daughters again, even though she was the breadwinner in the family.

Perkins did divorce him, and she had advice for those in such situations.

“If they hit you once, they will do it again. Walk away, and never look back,” she said.

She said her ex-husband occasionally texts her to ask about their daughters, who don’t want a relationship with their father. She knows it’s him because she has him tagged as “Satan” in her phone contacts.

“And that’s who he is to me,” she said. “Domestic violence not only hurts you, but it hurts your family and your children.”

Wright, Mortle’s older sister, told of barely surviving a brutal attack from her husband of 12 years while her three children slept in their home. A mother of nine, Wright was pregnant at the time of the attack.

When she met her husband, she recalled thinking he was “God’s greatest gift.” Tall and handsome, “he was it,” she said.

That terrible day had started with a family barbecue. One of the guests was a woman who used to date her husband, and she knew how to push his buttons and did so throughout the day, said Wright.

She had been part of their marriage before it even existed, she said. But she fooled herself into overlooking that and other red flags because she had three children with him.

‘Power in sharing my story’:Survivors share how they continue to overcome domestic violence at Pineville vigil

“I’m married. I’m winning,” she said, so she told herself she wouldn’t worry about the other woman.

Her husband got more aggravated as the day passed, and they eventually went home. Because he was drinking, she rushed the kids into bed.

As he bathed and put on cologne, she asked him to go to a store on an errand for her. He complained, and when she later asked him why he had to go where the other woman was, “that was it,” said Wright.

They argued, but it wasn’t until she was in the bathroom readying her own bath that he punched her face as she turned to face him. It broke her nose, she said, and then dragged her out of the bathroom.

“He straddled me and began to punch me in my face,” she said. “He had broken almost every bone in my face. I was unrecognizable.”

He continued beating her, left her and then returned to strangle her until she was unconscious and had lost control of her bodily functions. When she woke up on the floor, he was in bed.

Wright crawled into the kitchen to her cellphone, took a photo of her face, and posted it to Facebook with her address because she was afraid he’d hear her if she called for help.

Minutes later, a friend showed up and held Wright in her arms. She had already called her brothers to tell them what had happened. She was taken to a hospital by ambulance but doesn’t remember any of it.

In reading a poem she wrote about her experience, Wright said survivors are obligated to help others.

“We did not survive to be silent. We have an obligation to the community to at least try. We are all responsible for each other, as a gender, as a human race.

“Ladies, today, the word is choice. Choose life.”

SDGs, Targets, and Indicators

1. SDG 5: Gender Equality

   • Target 5.2: Eliminate all forms of violence against all women and girls in the public and private spheres
   • Indicator: Number of women and girls who have experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner in the past 12 months

2. SDG 16: Peace, Justice, and Strong Institutions

   • Target 16.1: Significantly reduce all forms of violence and related death rates everywhere
   • Indicator: Number of victims of intentional homicide per 100,000 population, by sex and age

Analysis

The article discusses the issue of domestic violence and its impact on individuals and communities. Based on the content of the article, the following SDGs, targets, and indicators can be identified:

1. SDG 5: Gender Equality

The issue of domestic violence is directly connected to SDG 5, which aims to achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls. Target 5.2 specifically addresses the elimination of all forms of violence against women and girls in both public and private spheres. The article highlights the experiences of domestic violence survivors, emphasizing the importance of addressing this issue to promote gender equality.

2. SDG 16: Peace, Justice, and Strong Institutions

The issue of domestic violence also relates to SDG 16, which focuses on promoting peace, justice, and strong institutions. Target 16.1 aims to reduce all forms of violence and related death rates. The article mentions the harrowing tales of survival of domestic violence survivors, highlighting the need for stronger institutions and measures to prevent and address domestic violence.

3. Indicators

The article mentions indicators that can be used to measure progress towards the identified targets:

• Number of women and girls who have experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner in the past 12 months: This indicator can be used to measure progress towards Target 5.2 of SDG 5. It reflects the prevalence of domestic violence and the effectiveness of efforts to eliminate it.
• Number of victims of intentional homicide per 100,000 population, by sex and age: This indicator can be used to measure progress towards Target 16.1 of SDG 16. It reflects the overall level of violence in society, including domestic violence.

Table: SDGs, Targets, and Indicators

Source: thetowntalk.com