My Son’s Classmate Has Unlimited Access to the Internet. Oh God.
Parenting advice: My son's classmate has unlimited access to the internet. Oh God. Slate
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Care and Feeding: Should You Intervene in Another Family’s Parenting?
Introduction
Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? Submit it here.
Background
Dear Care and Feeding,
My 11-year-old son has a classmate who often acts out in ways that make her unpopular among her peers. I have heard from another parent/friend that this child has a cell phone with unfettered access to the internet.
Concerns and Dilemma
She showed some very inappropriate and concerning things to other kids at a sleepover. The girl lives with a grandparent who seems way over her head (my friend shared her concerns about the girl’s internet activities, but the grandparent didn’t seem to get it). I don’t know this girl or her caregiver, but it turns out I work closely with a relative of hers. He was sharing about some tragedies in his family, and I realized the girl he was talking about was my son’s classmate. I now know why this poor child behaves the way she does (which I would never share), but I’m wondering if I should say anything about it to my colleague. I did mention to him that I thought the girl was in my son’s class but nothing more. On the one hand, I’m not sure what he could do about the situation and she’s not in immediate danger (that I know of), but on the other hand, I feel like I’m keeping information from him that maybe he’d want to know. We have a great relationship, but I don’t want to overstep.
—Concerned
Advice and Recommendations
Whether to insert yourself into another family’s parenting is a really difficult decision, and one that I think you could easily make either way, in your situation. On the one hand, the girl isn’t in any immediate danger and the grandparent is at least somewhat aware of things that are going on—one point for keeping to yourself. On the other hand, parenting takes a village, and kids often experience struggles that elude and confuse their caretakers. If this is impacting the girl’s social development and relationships, the grandparent might want to know—one point for chatting with the co-worker.
Personal Recommendation
It’s hard to be certain which way is best without knowing the details, but as I read your letter, I’m picturing some rather traumatic circumstances. If it were me, and I truly had a good relationship with my colleague (a friendship, not just collegiality), I would probably approach him. I don’t think I would be comfortable ignoring a vulnerable kid in my life just for propriety’s sake. I’d broach the subject vaguely, like, “I’ve figured out that Trixie is indeed in my son’s class. I’ve heard some things through the school grapevine that I would want to know if I were her guardian, but I don’t know if [grandma] is aware. I really don’t want to overstep, but I also don’t want to be complacent if this could ultimately help Trixie. Do you think we could grab a coffee?” Uncomfortable though it might be, hopefully, you can trust your friend/colleague to handle the information appropriately.
Considerations
One caveat to this whole response: I recommend observing radio host Bernard Meltzer’s advice model before you speak up: Is what you have to say true, kind, necessary, and helpful? If you answer any of those questions with “no” or “I am not sure,” that tells you it’s best to keep things to yourself.
—Allison
More Advice From Slate
My daughter is 6
SDGs, Targets, and Indicators Analysis
1. Which SDGs are addressed or connected to the issues highlighted in the article?
- SDG 4: Quality Education
- SDG 5: Gender Equality
- SDG 10: Reduced Inequalities
- SDG 16: Peace, Justice, and Strong Institutions
The issues highlighted in the article include a child’s social development, access to the internet, and the role of caretakers in a child’s life. These issues are connected to the SDGs mentioned above.
2. What specific targets under those SDGs can be identified based on the article’s content?
- SDG 4.4: By 2030, substantially increase the number of youth and adults who have relevant skills, including technical and vocational skills, for employment, decent jobs, and entrepreneurship.
- SDG 5.1: End all forms of discrimination against all women and girls everywhere.
- SDG 10.2: By 2030, empower and promote the social, economic, and political inclusion of all, irrespective of age, sex, disability, race, ethnicity, origin, religion, or economic or other status.
- SDG 16.2: End abuse, exploitation, trafficking, and all forms of violence against and torture of children.
Based on the article’s content, these targets are relevant as they address the need for relevant skills for employment and entrepreneurship, ending discrimination against women and girls, promoting social inclusion, and ending violence against children.
3. Are there any indicators mentioned or implied in the article that can be used to measure progress towards the identified targets?
- Indicator: Number of youth and adults with relevant skills for employment and entrepreneurship.
- Indicator: Incidents of discrimination against women and girls.
- Indicator: Measures of social, economic, and political inclusion for all individuals.
- Indicator: Incidents of abuse, exploitation, trafficking, and violence against children.
While the article does not explicitly mention these indicators, they can be used to measure progress towards the identified targets. The indicators would provide data on the number of individuals with relevant skills, incidents of discrimination, measures of inclusion, and incidents of abuse and violence.
SDGs, Targets, and Indicators Table
| SDGs | Targets | Indicators |
|---|---|---|
| SDG 4: Quality Education | 4.4: By 2030, substantially increase the number of youth and adults who have relevant skills, including technical and vocational skills, for employment, decent jobs, and entrepreneurship. | Number of youth and adults with relevant skills for employment and entrepreneurship. |
| SDG 5: Gender Equality | 5.1: End all forms of discrimination against all women and girls everywhere. | Incidents of discrimination against women and girls. |
| SDG 10: Reduced Inequalities | 10.2: By 2030, empower and promote the social, economic, and political inclusion of all, irrespective of age, sex, disability, race, ethnicity, origin, religion, or economic or other status. | Measures of social, economic, and political inclusion for all individuals. |
| SDG 16: Peace, Justice, and Strong Institutions | 16.2: End abuse, exploitation, trafficking, and all forms of violence against and torture of children. | Incidents of abuse, exploitation, trafficking, and violence against children. |
Copyright: Dive into this article, curated with care by SDG Investors Inc. Our advanced AI technology searches through vast amounts of data to spotlight how we are all moving forward with the Sustainable Development Goals. While we own the rights to this content, we invite you to share it to help spread knowledge and spark action on the SDGs.
Fuente: slate.com
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