Shame and Secrecy: Abuse in the Middle and Upper Classes – Psychology Today

Oct 30, 2025 - 10:00
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Shame and Secrecy: Abuse in the Middle and Upper Classes – Psychology Today

 

Report on Coercive Control as a Barrier to Sustainable Development Goals

Executive Summary: SDG Linkages

An analysis of domestic violence indicates that coercive control is a pervasive issue transcending socio-economic, educational, and professional boundaries. This phenomenon presents a significant impediment to the achievement of several Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), notably SDG 5 (Gender Equality), SDG 3 (Good Health and Well-being), and SDG 16 (Peace, Justice and Strong Institutions). A recent case involving a medical doctor in Northern Ireland subjected to severe abuse highlights the flawed societal assumption that education or financial independence provides immunity from such violence. This report deconstructs the multifaceted nature of abuse to demonstrate its universal application as a strategy of domination, which requires a more nuanced understanding to effectively advance the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development.

Analysis of Physical Abuse and its Impact on SDGs

Undermining SDG 3 (Good Health and Well-being) and SDG 5 (Gender Equality)

Physical violence is a direct assault on the fundamental right to health and security, irrespective of the victim’s or perpetrator’s social status. Its persistence across all societal levels reveals it as a critical issue for both public health and gender equality.

  • Physical abuse, including strangulation and assault, inflicts severe bodily harm and psychological trauma, directly contravening the objective of ensuring healthy lives and promoting well-being for all (SDG 3).
  • The occurrence of such violence in middle- and upper-class contexts confirms that it is a tool of gender-based domination, not a byproduct of economic stress, thereby representing a core challenge to achieving gender equality and eliminating all forms of violence against women (SDG 5, Target 5.2).

Challenges to SDG 16 (Peace, Justice and Strong Institutions)

The societal response to physical abuse is often inconsistent, posing a threat to the development of just and effective institutions.

  • Prevailing stereotypes about perpetrators can lead to disbelief and institutional reluctance to intervene when the abuser is socially polished and respected, weakening the justice system’s capacity to protect all victims equally.
  • This discrepancy in response undermines progress towards Target 16.1, which aims to significantly reduce all forms of violence, and highlights a failure of institutions to provide equal access to justice.
  • Cultural narratives that romanticize control and domination further obscure the reality of abuse, hindering the creation of peaceful and inclusive societies.

Psychological Abuse: An Invisible Barrier to Health and Equality

Impact on SDG 3 (Good Health and Well-being)

Psychological abuse is a covert form of violence with severe consequences for mental health, operating through calculated strategies of emotional destabilization.

  1. Perpetrators utilize manipulation and intermittent reinforcement, alternating cruelty with care to manufacture emotional entrapment.
  2. This pattern of unpredictable behavior destabilizes the victim’s nervous system, impairs self-regulation, and erodes autonomy.
  3. The resulting confusion, self-doubt, and psychological distress constitute a significant threat to mental health, directly undermining SDG Target 3.4.

Implications for SDG 5 (Gender Equality)

By targeting a victim’s autonomy and sense of reality, psychological abuse reinforces gender-based power imbalances that SDG 5 seeks to dismantle.

  • It functions as a deliberate strategy to dominate and control, eroding the victim’s independence, which is a fundamental component of gender equality.
  • The abuse often remains hidden behind a facade of respectability, making it difficult to identify and address, thereby perpetuating systemic gender inequality.

Financial Abuse in the Context of Economic Empowerment and SDG 5

Re-evaluating Financial Independence as a Protective Factor

The analysis indicates that financial independence does not insulate women from abuse; rather, it alters the mechanisms of control.

  • This challenges the assumption that economic empowerment, a key target under SDG 5, is a sufficient safeguard against gender-based violence.
  • Perpetrators with significant financial resources adapt their methods, weaponizing wealth and access to maintain control, demonstrating that abuse is a strategy of power, not a consequence of poverty.

Sophisticated Coercion and its Threat to SDG 16

In high-income contexts, financial abuse can become a tool to manipulate legal and social systems, undermining justice and institutional integrity.

  • The strategic use of wealth to fund protracted litigation, control housing, and damage a victim’s reputation represents a sophisticated form of coercion.
  • This manipulation of institutional power undermines the rule of law and equal access to justice, presenting a formidable challenge to building the peaceful, just, and strong institutions envisioned in SDG 16.

Conclusion: A Broader Framework for Achieving the SDGs

To effectively advance the Sustainable Development Goals, particularly SDGs 3, 5, and 16, policies and interventions must recognize that domestic violence is a universal strategy of control. Efforts must address all manifestations of abuse, including the covert psychological and financial tactics prevalent across all social strata, to ensure that no victim is overlooked and that the foundational principles of health, equality, and justice are upheld for all.

Identified Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs)

The following SDGs are connected to the issues highlighted in the article:

  • SDG 3: Good Health and Well-being – The article discusses the severe physical and psychological health consequences of domestic violence.
  • SDG 5: Gender Equality – The core theme of the article is violence against women, a critical barrier to achieving gender equality.
  • SDG 16: Peace, Justice and Strong Institutions – The article touches upon the societal and institutional responses to violence, including police intervention and the reluctance of institutions to act.

Specific SDG Targets Identified

Based on the article’s content, the following specific targets can be identified:

  1. Target 5.2: Eliminate all forms of violence against all women and girls in the public and private spheres.

    • The article directly addresses this target by detailing a case of a woman subjected to “severe physical and psychological violence by her abusive boyfriend.” It explores various forms of abuse, including physical (strangulation, assault), psychological (humiliation, manipulation, emotional control), and financial violence, all occurring within the private sphere of an intimate relationship.
  2. Target 16.1: Significantly reduce all forms of violence and related death rates everywhere.

    • The article’s focus on intimate partner violence aligns with this target. It describes brutal acts such as repeated strangulation and assault, which are life-threatening forms of violence. The text highlights that this violence is a “deliberate strategy of domination” used across all social classes.
  3. Target 3.4: Promote mental health and well-being.

    • The article extensively discusses psychological abuse and its impact on mental health. It describes how perpetrators use “manipulation, contradiction, and deliberate emotional destabilisation” and “intermittent reinforcement” to erode a victim’s autonomy. This leads to “confusion, self-doubt,” and a destabilised nervous system, directly undermining mental health and well-being.
  4. Target 5.1: End all forms of discrimination against all women and girls everywhere.

    • The article frames domestic violence not as a random act but as a “strategy of control used by perpetrators… to erode autonomy, induce fear, and maintain power in intimate relationships.” This dynamic of power and control is a manifestation of gender-based discrimination, where women are targeted because of their gender.

Mentioned or Implied Indicators

The article provides qualitative evidence that relates to the following indicators:

  1. Indicator 5.2.1: Proportion of ever-partnered women and girls subjected to physical, sexual or psychological violence by a current or former intimate partner.

    • The article provides a detailed case study of a woman who experienced physical violence (“covered in bruises,” “strangled her repeatedly”) and psychological violence (“spat at her, called her names, and filmed her as he forced her to eat food from the floor”). The entire text serves as a narrative illustration of the phenomena measured by this indicator, arguing that it affects women across all socioeconomic backgrounds, including those who are “educated, professional, and financially independent.”
  2. Indicator 16.1.3: Proportion of population subjected to physical, psychological or sexual violence in the previous 12 months.

    • The case described, where police were alerted in 2023, falls directly within the scope of this indicator. The article implies this is not an isolated incident by stating the surprise of a colleague is a “common” reaction, suggesting the prevalence of such violence is widely misunderstood but significant.
  3. Implied Indicators for Mental Health (Target 3.4):

    • While not citing a formal indicator, the article implies ways to measure the impact on mental health. It describes outcomes of psychological abuse such as a destabilised “nervous system,” impaired “self-regulation,” “confusion,” and “self-doubt.” These psychological states are measurable through mental health assessments and surveys, serving as de facto indicators of the harm caused.

Summary Table of SDGs, Targets, and Indicators

SDGs Targets Indicators
SDG 5: Gender Equality 5.2: Eliminate all forms of violence against all women and girls in the public and private spheres. 5.2.1: The article provides a qualitative case study of a woman subjected to physical and psychological violence by an intimate partner, illustrating the issue this indicator measures.
SDG 16: Peace, Justice and Strong Institutions 16.1: Significantly reduce all forms of violence and related death rates everywhere. 16.1.3: The article’s central case of a woman experiencing severe physical and psychological abuse in 2023 is a direct example of what this indicator tracks.
SDG 3: Good Health and Well-being 3.4: Promote mental health and well-being. Implied: The article describes the effects of psychological abuse (e.g., destabilised nervous system, impaired self-regulation, confusion, self-doubt) which serve as qualitative measures of deteriorating mental health.

Source: psychologytoday.com

 

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